LIFE

Mamas, you are not alone

Tabatha Kraft, a mother of three daughters, founded a Facebook page called “(Real) Motivational Mama.” (photo by Scripps Ranch resident Brianna Zarins/Cuddlebug Photography)

Mamas, you are not alone

“You can be a mess and still be a great mom. We are allowed to be both.”

This is the powerful message of Scripps Ranch mom Tabatha Kraft’s inspired Facebook page called (Real) Motivational Mama. The stay-at-home mom of three daughters created the page on Easter Sunday.

“I was sitting in Easter Sunday service and thought, ‘There needs to be a place where moms all over the world, not just my local area, can come for support because being a mom really is the hardest job in the world,’” she said.

Kraft said that, with having three girls ages 5, 2-and-a-half, and 10 months, she had gotten to a point where she was “really, really” struggling. She started posting on her personal Facebook and Instagram pages, being honest about her struggles, and said the response was incredible.

“I had so many moms comment or message me and say, “Oh my gosh, thank you for posting that! I thought I was alone!’” she said. “And you hear that so often. We all, at some point, feel alone as mothers. We feel like we are the only ones struggling because on the outside, most seem to have it all together. But the truth is, we are all in the same exact bus – the struggle bus, that is.”

Kraft said she created the Motivational Mama page to be a very positive place where moms can come for support and solidarity. The group currently has about 760 members – you must request to join ­– and is growing.

On the page, moms seek advice and share honestly about everything from postpartum depression, being a single mom, getting a degree as a mom, dealing with their kids’ fears, feeling frustrated, dealing with their kids over summer break, and celebrating kid-free time. It’s a safe place where they can express themselves and not be judged.

One member shared this, in part, earlier this month: “The last few months have been really hard on me in what seems like every aspect of my life. I feel like I’m drowning and I just don’t know how to get above water.”

Her post was greeted with nothing but supportive messages and understanding.

Another member posted this, in part: “HOW do you other working mamas do it? Two kids and a very demanding full-time job and I think I might lose it this week.” That post was greeted with an “I hear you, sister” GIF, among other responses.

Creating supportive Facebook pages is nothing new to Kraft. A couple years ago she started one called Scripps Ranch/Poway Mamas, in which moms connect for playdates and other events. The group has more than 1,000 members.

The Georgia native, who moved to Scripps Ranch three years ago from Cambridge, Massachusetts, said being a mom has shown her that she’s a great multitasker and that she also makes a lot of mistakes.

“I’ve also learned that my kids don’t want a ‘perfect’ mom, they just want a ‘happy’ mom,” she said.

Kraft also knows she’s a real mom, who, like all mamas, come with limitations.

“I am not the patient mom or the crafty mom and I may not always be the ‘fun mom,’ but I love my daughters fiercely and I know they never doubt that,” she said.

She said her biggest challenges are not having enough hours in the day and enough hands for three little girls.

Kraft gushes that her absolute favorite thing as her girls get older is seeing how much they love each other.

She offers that moms should “give yourselves a lot of grace and know that no matter what happens, you are never alone and you are not failing.”

Kraft said she hopes at the very least her page will make moms feel a little less alone.

“Because we are all in this together,” she said. “Without each other’s support, it’s nearly impossible to survive motherhood. That support is what will get most of us through this.”

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